"Mr. Mxyzptlk is HOT."

"Have you ever seen Seven Brides for Seven Brothers? It'll make you want to rip out your kidney and eat it."

"I am Munchbot 3000, please place food in my speaking hole."

"I like to look at roadkill".

"That's it...I'm circumcising this thing."

"Don't touch my extra special thing."

"I can't kill commies...my foot's asleep."

"You do your own web search, whale-penis boy."

"My slobber is like cobra spit."

"Wouldn't it be cool to compile DOS?"

"You can put on some pants. I'll wait."

"Burgerpants. you are my burgerpants."

"It's up enough to deter the cops".

"Ned Beaty is catnip to hillbillies."

"Sushi...it's full of fishy goodness."

"You shouldn't have anything that produces fire."

"I need to share my scent."

"Oh Indy, explore my dark recesses!"

"I will push you into traffic if it gets me to the bathroom faster."

"I'm going to put my urine in the bathroom."

"You ornery heathen person."

"You want your chair, plumber-crack boy?"

"I am a sanitary seafaring wench."

"You know Lucas raises attack llamas."

"I didn't mean idiot in a mean way."

"You are just wrong and naked."

"Your house would be so fun if you were stoned."

"You sign me up for that, you are so getting porn."

"Well, hey yeah, I could use a tail."

"I am the odd sound. Mwaaaaah!"

"I'm eating french fries...you think I'm listening to you?"

"Yeah, you better suck on your whatever."

"Morale's not high."

"It's a lot more fun tearing down IT infrastructure than putting it up."

"Nothing beats duct tape and leather."

"Hi all, Due to an unfortunate accident while removing my trousers, [the missus] and I have new phone numbers..."

"If you cook cyanide just right, it turns all sorts of rainbow colors!"

"I can't touch duct tape."

"If you had goggles on that picked up on danger, my house would glow."

"Come to my cactus, or my hacienda of love."

"The only reason your phone should be busy is if you're ordering me a present."

"I won't question your knowledge of mantis lovin'."

"I am cute and inspirational."

"I like any book about drugs, violence, or Little House on the Prairie."

"Everybody needs a good cult experience."

"A real woman eats stale Wheaties."

"Would you like 8 seconds of throbbing poo?"

"Everything I need to know, I learn from the backs of Wheaties boxes."

"I have nut indigestion."

"I always have the gumption."

"Please don't leave stripper remnants in my house."

"Dad, you gotta stop looking at the man in a dress."

"If it fits in one's hand, and isn't a gun, it's a grenade."

"[pickupline] You remind me of a latin text book [/pickupline]"

"It appears to just be a tickle game from the 16th century."

"Happiness is obviously cow-sized."

"Remember, I have FEET!"

"I just ate a raisin off the floor, after I stepped on it."

"They should bottle me up and sell me."

"I can make frenchie pooooo!"

"You shouldn't take pleasure in the misfortune of others...well, unless you had a hand in it."

"You humped air, that means you promise stuff."

"I am not an expert in butt ailments."

"Why must you pull up your pants?"

Thor: "I want deep-fried coconut shrimp."

Lark: "[hopefully] I have bacon!"

"Donkey claws!" [meaning "hooves"]

"I go now to astound my bed."

"That's a painful, hurty sort of irony."

"I'm fantastic, candy spurts from my pockets!"

"It's already been creamed with yak dung."

"Do physicists use computers to make pants-monsters?"